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NPD Family Support Group (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

Share stories, frustrations, and any news related to NPD.

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NPD Family Support Group
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All Members

New to Live Journal? Here is how you join npd_family, paying special attention to the order:

FIRST, make sure your email address is "validated" with Live Journal!
(or else we can't approve of the request! and can't message you to explain if we "disapprove" of the membership)

That means that LJ sends you an email with a link in it. They want you to click on the link "proving" you are "a human". If not? LJ will not allow us to approve of the subscription, and it also means we cannot even message you to tell you why you are still waiting! : ) How do you validate your email? After logging into Live Journal, go to "Profile, Settings, Email". There you will see an area called "unvalidated". Click on it and follow the prompts.

Before being accepted into the LJ npd_family community, you either have to have your *Live Journal profile filled out* and have at least one *public journal entry*, or you have to e-mail competewithno1 or moggymania and tell us a bit about yourself and why you want to join the community. THEN click on the "join" button. Do it the other way around and we can't approve of the subscription. (If you get a message denying the subscription? This is probably why. In which case, do the above and try again.)

Click Here to join!*
*Membership is moderated.

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If you're not a member, Click Here to read public posts made to this group.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a pattern of self-centered or egotistical behavior that shows up in thinking and behavior in a lot of different situations and activities. People with NPD won't (or can't) change their behavior even when it causes problems at work or when other people complain about the way they act, or when their behavior causes a lot of emotional distress to others. This pattern of self-centered or egotistical behavior is not caused by current drug or alcohol use, head injury, acute psychotic episodes, or any other illness, but has been going on steadily at least since adolescence or early adulthood.

A more comprehensive description of the disorder and how to recognize it can be found HERE.

Who this group is for...

Children of Narcissists
Narcisstic parents typically look to the child to meet their needs. This expectation is harmful to the child's overall mental health, which carries into adulthood. It is very similar to children raised in alcoholic homes. These homes appear "normal and healthy" to the outside world. It is often the children who suffer, and suffer alone. In homes such as these, the child's job is to make sure the parent's needs are being filled. In doing such, their identity, not to mention their "true feelings" are stuffed deep within them. They know something isn't right, but the family looks so perfect on the outside, that often it is the child who is blamed. Hence, children from these homes are often overlooked because the adult narcissist will make sure things "look good" on the outside. Children will not really understand what their feelings are, because the true expression of feelings is discouraged in a house run by a narcisstic parent. Often the child struggles alone.

Spouses/Partners of Narcissists
Spouses/Partners of Narcissists are often subjected to many different forms of abuse and psychological conditioning, while the relationship appears to be "normal and healthy" on the outside. In that respect, their situations are not entirely unlike that of children with Narcissist parents. However, when one dedicates oneself to a Narcissist, one changes and begins to lose the sense of one's self due to the depreciating behaviour of the Narcissist. A thick skin or armour develops in order to survive and one's integrity and moral sense diminishes. There is a gradual loss of sensitivity to the feelings of other people and a loss of sensitivity to one's own needs and feelings which culminates in the loss of one's own sense of self, or one's soul.

Parents of Narcissists
NPD cannot be truly diagnosed until after adolesence, but even after they're grown up, they're still your children. Many Narcisists have good relationships with their parents, as they are seen to be athority figures and therefore someone to respect. However, relationships do turn sour and parents too can be subjected to emotional abuse from their Narcissistic children.

Other family members of Narcissists
The more one reaches out to please a Narcissist, the more deprived one feels and the more vulnerable one is to being hurt. Their needs are like a bottomless well and the expectation is that one can give one's life-blood to please them, but that will never be enough and never be good enough. They are extremely critical, and they contradict themselves constantly. They can never be wrong, and everything must go their way. Even if you don't have a close personal relationship with the Narcissist, just coexisting with them can sometimes be frusterating and emotionally abusive.

...And anyone else who is affected profoundly by a Narcissist, such as partners and friends of those mentioned above, as well as coworkers of the Narcissist.

How this group is run...

  • Community posts are not screened for content! This means that unclean language or other possibly offensive things may be posted, so don't be surprised if you see them.

  • You must be a member to post, but anyone can read/comment on public posts. That means if you're posting about something that you consider private or don't otherwise want certain people to know about, you should make your post Members-Only. This way, only community members will be able to read/comment on your post. (Note: while anonymous comments are allowed on public posts, they are screened by default and the commenter's IP address is logged.)

  • Membership is moderated. There are two ways to be accepted into the community. Due to the nature of this community, moderated membership is necessary to ensure a safe environment for members. To be accepted into the community, you either have to have your livejournal profile filled out as well as have at least one public journal entry, or you have to e-mail CompeteWithNo1 or moggymania and tell us a bit about yourself and why you want to join the community. If you do at least one of those things, provided your intentent is not malicious, you will be accepted.

  • NO FLAMING/TROLLING!!! Neither flaming nor trolling will be tolerated. This is a support group, so please only post or comment if what you have to say is constructive or supportive. Anyone who flames or trolls this community will be banned.

  • Respect Other Members. Do not post the personal contact information (full name, phone number, address, email address) of another member without their permission to do so. Doing something like this could threaten their personal safety and is grounds for instant banning.

  • Mods Are Your Friends. If you have a question about LiveJournal, the rules or the group in general, or have an issue with another member, please contact a moderator directly rather than making a post and possibly causing drama. We are real people who are here to help you out.

  • Introduce Yourself! That's right, when you join, introduce yourself to the community. Post whatever you're comfortable with, be it a description of your relationship with the Narcissist, or just your name and where you're from. Feel free to make your introduction Members-Only if it makes you comfortable. Don't be shy, now!

  • Some Useful Abbreviations...

    "Narcissist" can be cumbersome to type over and over again, so feel free to use these abreviations.
    N/NPDer - Narcissist
    P - Psychopath
    NP - Narcissistic Psychopath
    NPD - Narcissistic Personality Disorder
    PA - Passive Aggressive
    NS - Narcissistic Supply
    APD - Antisocial Personality Disorder
    BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder
    Bi-P - Bi-Polar
    NC - No Contact
    NW - Narcissist Wife
    NH - Narcissist Husband
    XN - Ex Narcissist
    XNW/WNH - Ex N Wife/Husband
    NM - Narcissist Mother
    NF - Narcissist Father
    NC - Narcissist child
    NSib - Narcissist sibling
    ACON - Adult Children of Narcissists
    OW - Other Woman

    Helpful links about NPD...

    These sites are good resources for learning more about the disorder, understanding abuse and coping with Narcissists.
  • N-Courage

  • NPD: DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria

  • So. You're in Love With a Narcissist.

  • 9 Types of Narcissism

  • Heart 2 Heart Abuse Site

  • Narcissism: A Genetic Trait

  • The Smear Campaign of the Abuser

  • NPD at MentalHealth.com

  • Peter Fox's NPD Page

  • Dual Diagnosis and NPD

  • Dr. Irene: The Female Narcissist

  • NPD at Wikipedia

  • Narcissism Victim Syndrome

  • NPD Treatment

  • NPD at the Mayo Clinic

  • Married to A Narcissist?

  • NPD: What it is & How to recognise it

  • Assessment and Treatment of NPD

  • Caged

  • Echo - BASICS OF NPD

  • Narcissistic-Personality-Disorder.com

  • Dr. Ludger Hofmann-Engl's NPD Site


  • NPD ay PTypes.com


  • Holding the Mirror

  • How to Handle The Narcissists in Your Life

  • NPD at enotes.com

  • Narcissists, NPD and the serial bully

  • NPD: Should We Call Them Human?

  • NPD at Psychology Today

  • NARCISSISM: What You Need To Know

  • What Makes Narcissists Tick

  • Narcissistic Pathology of Everyday Life

  • A Stable Disorder or a State of Mind?

  • Narcissism in Family Relationships

  • Some of these links have an academic and/or professional background, and some do not. Please be aware of this.

    Other Resources...

    The following may take you beyond the scope of the sites listed above.
  • NPD Family Book List

  • NPD Family PDF List

  • Article search at PubMed
  • Find a Therapist (USA)

  • Find a Therapist (International)

  • Crisis Numbers & Info/Hotlines (USA)

  • Our Book & PDF lists are works in progress, so feel free to contribute to them!

    More Support Groups...

    There are many groups out there - you are not alone!
  • Adult Children Of Narcissits

  • N-Partners

  • Narcissistic Personality Disorder

  • NPD at Mental Health Today

  • Femfree's NPD Group

  • Safe and Secure

  • MentalEarth Community

  • LJ - NPD Support

  • LJ - Adult Children of Narcissists

  • LJ - Abuse Survivors

  • LJ - _Survivors_

  • Nmagnets Anonymous

  • Coping with a Narcissist Child

  • Narcissistic Support Forum

  • Practical SPIRIT Keeping

  • NPD at Psych Forums

  • Beyond the Echo

  • Friends of Narcissists

  • Recovering From Narcisisstic Parents

  • Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Forum

  • NPD Message Board at Suite101

  • Healing Narcissism

  • Not sure which group is right for you? Check out
    Finding a Support Group Using Basic Critical Thinking and Common Sense.

    On Sam Vaknin...

    Sam Vaknin is often hailed as a top (if not the) leading authority on Narcissism, and has published/facilitated a plethora of useful and insightful information. However, Vaknin is also a Narcissist and has said that he himself is therefore not to be trusted. As he is a Malignant Narcissist, personal contact with this man is discouraged. Do your best to look at the situation objectively and with a grain of thought. Please don't dismiss him completely, but wariness is not a bad thing. And above all, trust your gut. Here are a few links about Mr. Vaknin, authored both by him and by others.

  • Vaknin's NPD Site

  • Vaknin's CV/Résumé

  • Vaknin on Blogger

  • Journal 40: A Holiday Grudge

  • Reviews of Vaknin's book

  • Download Malignant Self Love

  • A post/thread in this Group

  • Another thread in this Group

  • Was There a Need to Revisit Narcissism?

  • Sam Vaknin Revisited

  • Narcissism on the Internet, Critically

  • Anatomy Of Malignant Narcissism


  • A thread at healnpd

  • A thread on psychopath-research.com

  • A thread on voicelessness.com

  • Link to this Community...
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    Parts of this group description have been taken from some of the sites that're linked above. We do not claim that any of the above information is original, and only present it as a means to inform and encourage more research by those to whom it pertains.

    If you have any suggestions, complaints, or questions about this group, or would like to suggest a link to include in the above description, please contact
    competewithno1 or moggymania. Thanks!

    abuse, acon, acons, advice, afraid, alienation, alone, anger, answers, anxiety, attacks, behavior, blame, borderline personality disorder, boundaries, bpd, breaking up, bully, child abuse, children, codependency, competitive, conditioning, confusion, control, coping, coping mechanisms, counseling, crazy, criticism, criticizing, crying, depression, despair, disguise, disorder, displacement, distrust, divorce, drama, emotional abuse, emotional development, emotional distress, emotions, empathy, empty promises, envy, epiphanies, escape, facade, faith, fake, family, fantasy, fear, feelings, forgiveness, friends, frustration, games, goodbyes, grandiosity, growing up, guilt, hate, healing, heaven, hell, help, hope, hyper-sensitivity, impulsiveness, independence, isolation, jekyll and hyde, laughing, lies, life, limits, listening, living, loneliness, longing, loss, love, manipulation, meditation, melodrama, memories, moving on, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic supply, no contact, npd, paranoia, pariah, passive-aggressive, perfection, personality disorders, physical abuse, poetry, projection, psychoanalysis, psychology, psychopath, questions, rage, raging, ranting, reading, recovery, relationships, run away, ruthlessness, sadness, seductive, self-serving, sensitivity, stories, strength, struggle, support, support group, sympathy, tears, therapy, trapped, treatment, trust, trying, understanding, unreasonable expectations, venting, victim, victimization, walking on eggshells, wishes, wondering, writing

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