ava (tisha313) wrote in npd_family,

Why does my independence threaten my mother?

I still live at home and currently I am trying to find a way out. I am in my 20s. My mother is still very abusive. I don't know if its jealousy or some type of personality disorder. She definitely exhibits traits of narcissism.

I don't even know where to start. Several weeks ago I went to the mall with her, on our way home, she becomes very irritable and instigates an argument. It results in her throwing a cup of soda at me and trying to hit me as I got out the car. I can't tell you what the argument was about, it was most likely some petty and childish argument that doesn't even make sense. She is always instigating irrational and illogical arguments, & provoking fights with me. Once she threatened me with a pair of scissors because I had some money saved away that she didn't know about.

Whenever I talk about moving out, it sends her into a rage. She gets angry, picks up things and tries to break them or hit me with it. Make all types of threats and even tries to blackmail me. I don't know why she is so dependent on me. Why does she want me at home ? My mother is married to my father and they've been together for over 30 years. So it's not like she will be lonely. Not to mention, she sees her grandkids everyday. She seems to be very threatened by my freedom and opportunity. She doesn't want me to have my own money or anything. Once she thought I got a check for 20,000 and she demanded that she get half (I was not even living with her at the time)

Mother also gets very threatened and jealous by friends or boyfriends. She gets jealous of anything that doesn't involve her. Anything that represent independence sends her into a rage, and she becomes this abusive monster.

Right now I am miserable. I am trying to find a way out. I have a year of RN school left. And I need to be here in order to finish. I have no extended relatives that will help me out. They are not financially stable. I just pray I make it through this.
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