ava (tisha313) wrote in npd_family,

Bitter parents

It seems that my Dad is bitter about me going to nursing school. I overheard him (actually he was speaking loud enough for me to hear) telling one of his relatives that it bothers him to see other people (meaning me) living BETTER than he was at a younger age. He thinks my life is so much easier compared to his.

Even when I moved out, both of my parents began complaining that I was living the easy life--and that I should know what it's like to "suffer". Mom would call me and instigate arguments about me wanting to take the "easy road" in life.  I was living in college apartments while I finished my pre requisites for nursing school and they felt that I was just getting a free ride the whole time. Dad who complained for years about me living at home STILL was not happy when I moved out. He never called me, even on my birthday, because frankly he was bitter about my opportunities.

He gets on the phone with extended relatives and talks crap about my mother behind her back when she's not home (not sure how to feel about that, I don't particularly like my mom that much, but its weird hearing him trash talk her), the stuff he says is pretty cruel, and he talks about how he wants to leave so he can get away from her. He says she's crazy, which she is , but so is he.  Of course, he does this on purpose, he talks loud enough so I can hear it.

I am trying to make the best of this current situation because I have no where else to go. But my Dad (and mom) is trying to make me as miserable as possible.  He seems to be on good terms with everybody but me. Every chance that he gets, he makes a lot of snide comments about me being crazy, and blames my mother for how bad I turned out. He wont stop. There is never a day that goes by that I don't experience his venom in some passive aggressive way.

There's no middle ground with either of them, if I am doing poorly in life than I am just a f***k up, a loser, a bum, but then if I am succeeding and getting my life together, it's not fair and I am taking the "easy road" in life.

This whole situation is just sick. I hope when I do have children, I'll never feel this bitter about them finding happiness or success.  It doesn't even seem natural to feel that way. Why even have children if you don't want to see them grow up and do well in life?? This is taking a huge toll on me mentally and spiritually. Sometimes I can't even sleep at night. I pray that I have the strength to make it through this program and I hope I wont have any setbacks.   
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