kyra27 (kyra27) wrote in npd_family,

HELP! I told the truth.

Several months ago, I was visiting N sis in her city and helping her do some stuff. I sent a text to my friend saying I wish I could go home, and somehow I accidentally sent it to her. (She was talking to me at the time, so I probably wasn't paying as close attention as I should have been). That opened up a huge can of worms, where I finally admitted that I had been lying to her all these years by telling her that I liked spending time with her and that we were "friends". She said if we were to have any kind of relationship in the future, I would have to promise to stop lying. I talked it over with several of my friends and my parents, and they all agreed that it was time to stop lying. They said my lying hurt everyone -- my sister, myself and even them. So I promised from then on that I would be honest.

Fastforward to now. N sis periodically freaks out because I won't go on vacation with her. I admit that I slipped while we were fighting and agreed to take a trip with her, but she could still tell that I didn't really want to. So I called her this morning and admitted that I don't like taking vacations with her. She responded with her traditional response that, what does it say about her that her own sister doesn't want to spend time with her and she has no friends who want to either. This time, instead of deflecting or twisting the story around, I owned up to it and just said that I was sorry and that I wished things could be different.

Needless to say, she was pretty upset when we hung up the phone. Am I insane in trying to be honest with an N? Did I do the right thing or the wrong thing? What should I do from here? Any help you guys can give me would be so appreciated because I am in completely uncharted waters here, in a place where I have never been before. Thanks.
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