I'm new to this forum and would really love to see if anyone out there has advice for how I can help my dad, who has been diagnosed with NPD and an addiction to romantic relationships and sex. I'd also love some advice about how I can keep my sanity and avoid being consumed by all this. My dad is 70 and is quite self-destructive. Because of his issues, he's a very easy target for people who seek to exploit him. I'm doing my best to protect him but he constantly lies and manipulates to undermine my efforts, which leaves himself even more vulnerable to exploitation - everyone in our family and his therapists believe he is at risk of losing everything soon. We've seen him be exploited before - about a year ago, he got involved with a woman who convinced him to give her a credit card and provide her with financial support - in just a few months, he gave her nearly $40,000 (which he cannot afford) - all this was happening while his wife (my mother) was suffering from complications due to a severe stroke. Dad refused to see the fact that he was being taken advantage of, even though the facts were clear; he ignored the warnings to three different therapists, two police officers, a private detective, all his friends and his family. After many stressful months, I was finally able to convince dad that he was being taken advantage of when the woman broke into his house to steal something - then I got a restraining order against her and set up a Trust and durable power of attorney to make sure that this kind of exploitation wouldn't happen again.
But now, my dad is involved with another woman who aims to exploit him. He met this one on the internet over the summer - over the course of just two weeks of email-only communication, he claimed she 'cured him', that she was his 'soul mate' and that he wanted to give her everything. (And this was happening while his wife/my mother was dying). Dad has been seeing this new woman for six months now and since my mother has recently passed away, dad is hell-bent on marrying this new woman asap. This new woman claims that she will not marry him unless he revokes our durable power of attorney and the trust and give her control of his assets. He will not listen to reason and is unwilling to understand that the trust and power of attorney are there to protect him - his only concern is that she'll leave him if he doesn't revoke the trust and power of attorney. He admits that he believes that this new woman sees him as "her meal ticket" but he doesn't care - he just doesn't want her to leave him.
I don't know what else to do to protect my father. Whenever I get through to him and we make some progress, the next day he goes behind my back and uses his manipulation and lies to undo every bit of progress we made. It's clear that this woman will take everything if dad revokes the trust and durable power of attorney, but the police say that since dad is smart and isn't incapacitated, he can choose to give all of his retirement away if he wants. Does anyone have any advice about how I can protect my father from his self-destructive behavior? I don't know what else to do.
I'd also love some advice about how to deal with the stress of having a loved one with NPD. This is consuming my life and it's just not healthy for me...I really want my life back, but I also really want to help protect my dad. Dad's behavior is often quite horrible and he hurts me constantly - he is unable to empathize with anyone. Dealing with his hurtful behavior, his manipulativeness and his deceptiveness are becoming unbearable. Everyone else in our family has given up on him - they can't take his behavior anymore and I'm getting close to that point too. What do I do? Does anyone have any suggestions? I'd really appreciate it if you do.
I'd appreciate your advice